A Skillful Approach to Arguing

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566GGLet’s face it, relationships can be complicated and require a lot of commitment and hard work. Most partnerships are a delicate balancing act because two people usually bring two distinct points of view to the table. Chances are likely that disagreements are going to arise.

How we choose to handle discord in a relationship is extremely important, because if we’re not careful, things can get out of hand quickly and spiral into more negative territory. This usually happens when we allow harshness to enter into our disagreements, and harshness can become so toxic that it permanently damages a relationship.

Fortunately, there are other, more skillful ways we can approach our arguments. Striving to communicate with more kindness allows us and our partners to drop any defensiveness we might be holding onto. When we are respectful with our communication, our partners have more of a chance to feel validated, and they will be more open to listening to our needs as well.

One of the most damaging emotions to a relationship is that of resentment. Resentment builds up when we don’t feel that our point of view is being respected. There is always a moment when a discussion is on the verge of degrading into an all-out argument. If we let it turn nasty, there will be anger present in the communication and anger is a destructive force. Our words can become like daggers whose sole purpose is to inflict harm, causing resentments to flourish like weeds.

Learning to argue in a positive, respectful, and non-violent way will help keep our relationships clear of resentments and negativity. We can still disagree with our partners but do so with love and compassion. This will allow us to nourish and cultivate the space we share with our significant other, and over time this will yield healthy rewards instead of bitter regrets.

Read the full article here: How to Fight Right

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