One factor that may determine whether a relationship can survive infidelity is the nature of the affair. Some affairs lack any emotional commitment, while others involve a deeper level of intimacy and connection than is found within the primary relationship.  Often the hurt partner asks the same questions over and over about the affair in an effort to protect themselves from a future affair.  This tends to backfire and the partner who had the affair starts to feel as they will be in the doghouse forever and may get discouraged.  This leads to both partners being stuck.   Having an experienced therapist can help bring out the underlying issues into the open and then work through them.  It is important to reveal the “real reasons” of the affair and deal with them.  This is the only way the hurt partner can have any security that a future affair will not occur.