There are certain dynamics and patterns that come up repeatedly in relationships. This year I will be reaching out to other experts in the field of relationship therapy and asking them for their perspective on some of these topics.
I am very pleased to have, Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT as the first of my guest bloggers this year. Ms. Lancer is author of several books on Codependency including: Codependency for Dummies and Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You. In this article she explains the Pursuer/Distancer dynamic.
“The Dance of Intimacy” By Darlene Lancer, M.A., MFT
Depressed people do not believe everything will be alright. They can’t. That’s the nature of the condition. The depressed mind ruminates. It goes around and around, thinking in negative, circular patterns of worthlessness, insecurity, isolations, and inadequacy. The depressed mind is stuck. Future happiness just isn’t imaginable beyond the hopelessness. This disorder changes your… Read more »
Can Texting Sabotage Emotional Intimacy? Randi Gunther, author of Relationship Saboteurs: Overcoming the Ten Behaviors that Undermine Love, clinical psychologist and marriage counselor for 4 decades, shares her take on the impact of texting on emotional intimacy in committed relationships. Gunther implores couples to remember a time before the Internet. Consider how intentional and full of… Read more »
The Real Secrets of a Great Relationship Randi Gunther, author of When Love Stumbles: How to Rediscover Love, Trust, and Fulfillment in your Relationship, a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor for more than four decades, gathered 14 core, and somewhat subtle, behaviors of couples whose relationships are deeply connected, and grow closer and more committed over time: Partners don’t… Read more »
It’s not affairs that break up marriages: It’s the unfaithful spouse’s inability to be honest about what happened and leave the affair behind them, says Caroline Madden, a Burbank, California-based marriage therapist who specializes in affair recovery.
“When I see couples divorce after an affair, it’s not usually because of the infidelity itself: The betrayed spouse simply gave up trying when their husband or wife continued to be selfish, shady, and untrustworthy,” said Madden, the author of Fool Me Once: Should I Take Back My Cheating Husband?