Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D. writes in Psych Central how there is never a need to have an argument with your partner. Instead, couples can use ten strategies that she refers to as “Friendly Fighting” that can help couples resolve a conflict without it going downhill. When Hartwell-Walker says that couples never have to fight, she… Read more »
Sometimes, a “good” argument can actually be helpful to bring an issue to the surface and get it out in the open as well. Gottman refers to Michele Weiner Davis, who says that people may avoid a conflict because they have learned from their past that arguing led to the end of previous relationships. Certainly, cyclical arguments that never get resolved can only damage a relationship.
There are certain dynamics and patterns that come up repeatedly in relationships. This year I will be reaching out to other experts in the field of relationship therapy and asking them for their perspective on some of these topics.
I am very pleased to have, Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT as the first of my guest bloggers this year. Ms. Lancer is author of several books on Codependency including: Codependency for Dummies and Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You. In this article she explains the Pursuer/Distancer dynamic.
“The Dance of Intimacy” By Darlene Lancer, M.A., MFT
Depressed people do not believe everything will be alright. They can’t. That’s the nature of the condition. The depressed mind ruminates. It goes around and around, thinking in negative, circular patterns of worthlessness, insecurity, isolations, and inadequacy. The depressed mind is stuck. Future happiness just isn’t imaginable beyond the hopelessness. This disorder changes your… Read more »
Can Texting Sabotage Emotional Intimacy? Randi Gunther, author of Relationship Saboteurs: Overcoming the Ten Behaviors that Undermine Love, clinical psychologist and marriage counselor for 4 decades, shares her take on the impact of texting on emotional intimacy in committed relationships. Gunther implores couples to remember a time before the Internet. Consider how intentional and full of… Read more »