What does it take to be happy?
Happiness means a wide variety of things and circumstances to most of us, but almost invariably there is a relationship involved. We want to share our lives.
Millions of dollars are spent by consumers who do what people do–seek the connection that makes them feel complete. Of course, this extends beyond romance. We also want friends and family in our lives. We want a “tribe” of fellow co-travellers to share our life journey. Our hearts and minds are better for it.
Therapists, authors of Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truth from Real Couples about Lasting Love and married couple Linda and Charlie Bloom know a thing or two about managing love and expectation, love cultivation, and sometimes even love resuscitation.
Both the Blooms acknowledge that keeping the bloom on the rose of your love is difficult, if you believe committed love “eventually and inevitably becomes flat and boring.”
A romantic partnership is the foundation of a stable loving family. Try to let go of any guilt you may be feeling about spending time and/or money on yourselves. Remember, creating a stable family structure outweighs any short term discomfort your child (or you!) may have. The goal of date night is to feel connected to your partner as a human being again and not just relate to each other as co-parents/co-CEOs of the family.
Relationship satisfaction dips after the birth of a first child. It is natural for new mothers to be very baby-focused. However, even the most understanding man can, at times, feel shut out of mother/child dyad. Here are five strategies to help new mothers stay connected with their partners during this transition from being a couple to being a family:
“For better or for worse” is a monumental promise and precious commitment. When “for worse” sounds like a doctor’s “ I’m sorry, it’s cancer,” your expectations, dreams, and connection are shaken.
The hard work of marriage just got exponentially harder.
You could lose each other in the battle, if you’re not careful. You could turn on each other when the way gets too rough.
Unless you have a plan.