Rebuilding Trust

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Knowing that your partner had an affair and was unfaithful is very hurtful. However, there are ways that both of you can rebuild trust and eventually restore your relationship.

The first thing to do when facing a partner who’s had an affair is to confront them. This doesn’t mean getting physical or being verbally aggressive. It does mean having a face-to-face dialogue where the two of you are frank and honest with each other.  

Keep in mind that the idea is not to score points by trying to get even with your cheating partner. Also, be mindful with whom you talk to about this. Naturally, you’ll need to get things off your chest, but pick someone who will be supportive and is not emotionally connected to the situation.

Next, is making amends for what happened. Your partner should understand how this has affected you, is completely open with you and takes opportunities to be nice to you. You need to take the time to take care of yourself, such as through practicing mindfulness activities.  When you are interacting with each other, do go into deep conversations, but instead keep things friendly.

After making amends, it’s time to start to reconnect with each other. Keep conversations about the affair limited to when you are with a couple’s counselor or at a specific time you both designate. Your partner should try to find opportunities to express kindness and earn back trust.

Finally, work to create a new relationship with each other. This is done through positive experiences that both of you can share. For instance, do things together to create new emotional bonds such as watching television or a movie. Also, your partner earns your trust back by verifying their location or avoiding situations where they would encounter the person they cheated with.

Rebuilding trust after an affair isn’t easy. However, by taking these steps, couples can begin the healing process and create a new relationship.  For more information on rebuilding trust, you can read the full post here:  4 Steps Every Couple Needs to Take When Trust is Broken.

 

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