Every couple has an argument or disagreement from time-to-time. Yet research shows that there are four common themes that cause relationship tension. If couples are aware of these problems, they can take steps to avoid them and have less conflict.

The research comes from Dr. John Gottman who studies relationships. The four most common sources of arguments are: housework/chores, money issues, technology, and stress from work.

Technology has become such an integral component of our lives that it can be hard to realize when it’s time to unplug. In fact, couples only spend about 35 minutes a week actually having face-to-face interactions with each other. To avoid this problem, couples can create a contract or agreement not use their phones or other technology during particular times of the day or when certain thing are happening (dinner for instance).

Another problem is bringing home work-related stress. When you have work issues such as a project that’s due or interactions with coworkers, those can spill over at home, creating mixed signals with your partner. Couples can do what Gottman refers to as a “ritual of connection” to unwind and destress, as well as create a closer connection.

A third issue that creates conflict is money as money is usually connected to bigger issues such as emotional and physical needs. Couples should have meaningful discussions about money, make a budget, and develop a financial plan.

Finally, a big issue facing couples is the division of labor in the home. Men often tend to over-estimate how much work they actually do. Also, there can be cultural issues that they learned from their parents that men don’t do housework. Have a discussion with each other to divide up chores fairly for each other.  

Want to learn more about how couples can reduce the sources of relationship conflict in their lives?  Read the full post here:  4 Solutions to the Most Common Relationship Problems.