Once you’ve made the decision to end the marriage or relationship, commit yourself to leaving. That means figuring out the logistics of divorce (Where are you going to stay? Should you retain a lawyer or is mediation your best bet?) and also coming to terms with the finality of your decision, said Caroline Madden, a marriage therapist and the author of Fool Me Once: Should I Take Back My Cheating Husband?
“Stop waiting for your spouse to come through the door,” she said. “Stop arguing about the affair. There is nothing to argue about anymore.
Instead, Madden said to “take an honest inventory of how the marriage wasn’t working for you. If he or she was cheating, your needs probably weren’t being met and you deserve to be with a spouse who doesn’t bail during rough times.”