The Cost and Benefits of Emotional Honesty

couple-1030744_1920Your most successful and intimate relationship will be one that probes the deepest emotions between you and your partner. You must commit to know and understand the depths of his or her heart and mind, honestly and fully. Emotional intimacy is built upon a true desire to explore your relationship. Intimacy is continually discovering more areas of growth and acceptance, reaching higher levels of connectedness, and pursuing greater depths of knowledge about each other.

There are four markers that signal whether your relationship on its way to deeper intimacy:

  • Emotional Integrity/Honor

It is vital that you communicate in a way that honors your relationship. Sharing feelings is an act of courage. It requires a willingness to be vulnerable, telling yourself and your partner the truth of your emotions. Judgment and repression do not foster intimacy. Communicating beyond the superficial provides opportunity for growth, especially if dialogue is open, accepting, and dignifies a desire for relational wholeness.

  • Emotional Intelligence/Respect

Conflict can be scary if you feel that disagreements put your relationship at risk, but attempts to control uncomfortable emotions do more damage than good.  Emotional intimacy is achieved by dealing with inevitable friction respectfully. Emotionally intelligent couples strengthen their bond by sensitively allowing each other to fully relate pain, anger, or disappointment honestly.

  • Emotional Authenticity/Trust

Revealing yourself wholeheartedly to your partner is the secret to a thriving, dynamic union. There is no way to blossom without weathering some storms. Trust each other with the totality of who you are. Risk sharing hidden places with your partner and realize the dream of being fully known and understood.

  • Emotional Effort/Determination

Expect to get it wrong sometimes. Emotional integrity, intelligence and authenticity are skills that take time to learn. Effort counts in relationships. Each move toward each other, however awkward, is a step towards deeper understanding of your own internal issues and the heart of the one you love.

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