Therapists, authors of Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truth from Real Couples about Lasting Love and married couple Linda and Charlie Bloom know a thing or two about managing love and expectation, love cultivation, and sometimes even love resuscitation.
Both the Blooms acknowledge that keeping the bloom on the rose of your love is difficult, if you believe committed love “eventually and inevitably becomes flat and boring.”
Sadly, this idea becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and couples prematurely assume the thrill is gone, giving up on a happy future together.
It’s crucial to recognize that low periods in a relationship will happen.
It’s unavoidable.
However, you and your partner have the ability to reinforce the foundation of your relationship. When it comes to the hard times, as the Blooms put it, “ it is possible to strengthen the substance of a relationship in a way that minimizes their impact and diminishes the frequency of those occurrences. Not just a little bit, but to a very significant degree.”
There’s no downside to doing this type of relationship work – just a better life and relationship, with more passion and more excitement.
Here’s the plan:
- Prioritize your relationship. There’s no way around it. Take your relationship for granted, and neglect will create real problems, fast. If you want your relationship to stay solid, you have to continually reinforce the things that make it good.
- Resist the urge to relate only by roles. You didn’t fall in love to be roommates, business partner, or co-parents. You are lovers. That component is where your relationship strength lies. Don’t let that part of your love go unattended.
- Recognize fading romance. One partner usually sees this important aspect of their connection fading before the other. He or she is the best person to reintroduce fun, playfulness, and connected closeness. The Blooms list a myriad of great dates that help improve intimacy and, eventually, relationship satisfaction.
Taking care of the “intimate aspects of our relationships”, say the Blooms, is key. Being “mindful about the ways in which we approach change” will produce closeness, rather than anxiety and disconnect.
Concentrate on bringing pleasure to each other, and reveling in committed love. Enjoy!
Read the full article here: Want to keep love alive? Here’s how.
