Your Friend Admitted To Cheating On Their Partner. Here’s What Experts Say To Do Next.
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk
Think twice before allowing yourself to be their alibi.
Caroline Madden is a marriage and family therapist who helps couples repair after infidelity. (She’s also the author of a number of books on infidelity.) Her strong advice for any friend put in a Schwartz-like position is not to become an alibi for your friend, even if your friend presses you.
“It never ends well,” Madden told HuffPost. “It is one thing to turn a blind eye to bad behavior and quite another to actively participate in deception, especially if the betrayed partner is a friend as well.”
The betrayed partner will likely have questions about the whole situation and who else was involved. If you’re seen as someone who knew about the cheating but didn’t do enough to stop it, it could seriously jeopardize your friendship with both people.
“If they get back together, the betrayed partner might even require their wayward partner to end their friendship with you,” Madden said.
What Makes People Cheat on the One They Love?
Oprah.com- August 23, 2019
Mostly, Madden treats married couples who are grappling with the husband’s infidelity. And those husbands often point to a largely sexless marriage as their motivation. As she puts it from their perspective, “What does a man do when his wife has unilaterally shut down sex in their relationship? Or sex is so infrequent that it’s full of anxiety so it isn’t enjoyable or connecting? Does he break up the family, so that he can have his adult needs met?”
Even when these husbands have broached their frustration, “frankly, she counts on him being a good family man who would never cheat. She takes him for granted. Then someone at work smiles at him. Laughs at his jokes. Says that his wife must be lucky to have him…” The bottom line? Never feeling appreciated may, in some cases, lead to cheating, Madden says.
How To Improve Your Relationship With 11 Subtle Changes
Bustle – July 1, 2019
If it currently feels as if you aren’t as connected to your partner as you’d like to be, don’t fret. There are so many ways to get things back on track and feel close. And often all you and your partner will need to do is make a few subtle relationship changes here and there, and then maintain those things as a priority.
Why Has My Sex Drive Changed? 12 Factors That Can Impact Libido
Bustle- June 30, 2019
There are few attributes more individually tailored to a person than one’s sex drive. It ebbs and flows, it changes through different parts of your life, and it can be affected by a wide variety of factors. So if you’re wondering or concerned about what elements of your life, well-being, and habits impact your sex drive, there might be a few you’ve not considered.
Is My Partner Cheating? 7 Signs Your Suspicions Stem From Fear
Bustle- June 25, 2019
If you’re worried that your partner is cheating, figuring out whether your suspicions stem from fear is important. There’s a difference between fear and intuition. When it comes to relationships, intuition can save you from a potentially heartbreaking situation. Fear, on the other hand, can create distance, tension, and maybe even heartbreak. So how can you tell if your suspicions about loyalty just stem from fear? According to experts, there are a few key things to pay attention to.
Experts Say These 7 Body Language Cues May Mean Your Partner’s Attraction To You Has Changed
Bustle- June 14, 2019
No matter how often your they tell you they love you, you probably occasionally feel like your partner isn’t attracted to you anymore. Maybe your schedules aren’t lining up quite as well as you’d like or you feel like you’re sometimes more like roommates than partners, and you aren’t sure whether your connection to each other is as strong as it once was. Periods like this are normal in any relationship, especially if you have been together for a while. It could mean absolutely nothing and doesn’t need to be looked into further. But in case you’re curious about what body language could potentially say about your partner’s feelings toward you, some experts suggested some interesting connections.
8 Surprising Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating, According To Experts
Bustle- June 10, 2019
If you they have been acting fishy lately, you might start looking for signs that your partner is cheating. Even if you trust them, something small like noticing that they’ve recently added a password to their phone or started spending a lot of time with a new coworker might cause you to worry. Little changes like this could definitely turn out to be totally innocuous, but just in case they’re not, knowing what might pose a problem could give you some peace of mind. According to experts, picking up on these signs and then bringing them up with your partner is key to preventing mistrust.
7 Signs Your Relationship Is Going Through Some Growing Pains
Bustle- February 21, 2019
As we all know, the blissful honeymoon phase of a relationship won’t last forever. At some point, it should transition into something deeper and more meaningful. Unfortunately, that transition won’t always be the easiest. If you’ve been experiencing more issues in your relationship after the honeymoon phase, experts say your relationship may be experiencing some growing pains.
10 Things Therapists Want You To Know About Communication In Relationships
Bustle – February 14, 2019
There are many different factors that contribute to a relationship’s success. But one thing that tends to get talked about more than anything else is communication. Good communication skills can solve and prevent a lot of problems that occur between you and your partner. According to therapists, there are a few key things you need to know if you want to have good communication in your relationship.
9 signs you weren’t ready to break up with your ex
Business Insider – February 9, 2019
INSIDER spoke with relationship experts about signs that you weren’t ready to break up with your partner.
7 Ways to Reconnect With Your S.O.
Brit + Co – January 25, 2019
You love your S.O. — and if you don’t yet, you think you might soon — but that doesn’t mean that you’re constantly feeling totally in tune with them. Since we’re all expected to have jobs, and socialize, and exercise occasionally, and contribute to society in some meaningful way, your first priority can’t always be your relationships. As a result, you can find yourself feeling disconnected from your special someone, and that sense of alienation can leave you in a panic. Does this mean the relationship is over? Is it always going to be like this? Can we ever get back on track? Not necessarily, no, and yes — periods of disconnection aren’t a sign of a doomed partnership. Here are seven specific steps to help reconnect with your partner.
7 Subtle Things That Can Take The Magic Out Of A Relationship
Bustle – January 17, 2019
Relationships are always great in the beginning. As time goes on, the magic that was once so present can slowly start to fade. But according to experts, it doesn’t have to. All you have to do is be careful of the subtle behaviors that may be taking the magic out of your relationship.
9 Subtle Shifts That Occur In A Relationship Right Before A Breakup
Bustle – January 2, 2019
Sometimes breakups come out of left field, and take a couple by surprise. But other times, there are subtle changes that occur right before a breakup, usually in the form of small problems that lead to a lack of connection. Of course, many relationships are meant to run their course, and come to an eventual end. But if you’d like yours to last, spotting these changes before they escalate may help get it back on track.
7 Things It Means For Your Relationship If You Weren’t The First One To Say “I Love You”
Bustle – December 18, 2018
When it comes to saying those three little worlds, it’s hard to pinpoint an exact, ideal timeframe. A 2011 study found that it takes people about 97 days, or three and a half months, on average to say “I love you” for the first time. But whether or not you fit into that window, it’s safe to say that saying those words for the very first time can be a pretty big deal.
7 Seemingly Alarming Things That Actually Mean Your Relationship Is Evolving
Bustle – November 28, 2018
Your relationship likely will change from how it was in the beginning. Although many of us would love to stay in the honeymoon period forever, change is necessary for growth. If you want your relationship to last, you need to keep nurturing it in order for that to happen. For many, change can be scary. But according to experts, it doesn’t have to be. There may be some changes that occur in your relationship that can seem alarming, but actually mean that your relationship is evolving.
6 ways you may be cheating on your spouse without even realizing it
MyJoyOnline.com – October 25, 2018
Sexual affairs may be the most widely known type of infidelity, but these days, betrayal take many forms.
“If effort is consistently being expended outside the marriage, that may be a sign of a non-traditional affair, like an emotional affair,” psychotherapist Abby Rodman told The Huffington Post. “The result of a non-traditional affair is the same: The spouse feels hurt, disillusioned and marginalized.”
Below, Rodman and other marriage experts share the most damaging types of betrayals that occur in modern marriages.
9 Surprising Things Your Partner Wishes You’d Stop Doing At Their House
Bustle – August 1, 2018
As you know, it’s always a good idea to keep certain etiquette tips in mind when you’re a guest in someone’s home, mostly so you can enjoy each other’s company, respect each other’s space, and avoid awkward moments. And the same is true when it comes to staying over your partner’s house.
9 Ways To Know Your Partner Is Still Thinking About Their Ex, Even If They Won’t Admit It
Bustle – July 3, 2018
If your partner was in a relationship before they met you, they might occasionally think about their ex. For better or worse, their ex had an affect on them and may remain in the recesses of their brain. And you know what? That’s OK. It’s perfectly fine for your partner to think about their ex, talk about them, and even have a friendly relationship with them.
How To Tell If You’re Giving Too Much In A Relationship & How To Pull Back
Bustle – June 6, 2018
If you’re naturally a loving and affectionate person, giving a lot to your partner and relationship just happens. More often than not, you don’t even think about it. You’re thoughtful, you’re accommodating, and you’re always there for your partner whenever they need you. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, being super giving can backfire on you when you realize that your partner isn’t giving you as much in return. So what can you do when your relationship is out of balance?
13 Surprising Things You Should Never Say Around a Child
Bustle – April 12, 2019
If you have kids, babysit kids, or simply spend a lot of time around your friends’ kids, then you already know they are little sponges. Children have a way of soaking up what we say, mulling it over, repeating it — and sometimes even holding onto comments and criticisms for the rest of their lives. So, for all of those reasons and more, there are definitely a few things you shouldn’t say around a child, if you can help it.
Why People Really Cheat On Their Partners, According To Science
Bustle – January 11, 2018
What really compels a person to cheat? The reality is, people will cheat for a number of reasons, and a new study published The Journal of Sex Research found the biggest reasons why people are unfaithful.
10 Signs Your Partner Will Be Loyal To You, Even If They Have A History Of Infidelity
Bustle – December 19, 2017
As the saying goes, “once a cheater, always a cheater.” But is it actually true? If your partner has cheated before, you might be wondering if anything’s stopping them doing the same thing to you. Will they continue the pattern from their past relationships? Will they sneak around behind your back?
9 Signs You Need to Break Off Your Engagement
StyleCaster.com-September 21, 2017
It’s not just a movie cliché—some people actually do live their last night of “freedom” to the fullest. In fact, a study shows that a full third of bachelors cheat at their bachelor parties.
Everything You Need To Know About Surviving Infidelity
Huffington Post-September 14, 2017
“It’s not affairs that break up marriages: It’s the unfaithful spouse’s inability to be honest about what happened and leave the affair behind them…”
10 Big, Divorce-Proofing Talks To Have Before Getting Married
Huffington Post-July 19, 2017
“If you suspect your partner’s need for sexual intimacy doesn’t match yours, don’t overlook it. You might want to believe it’s an insignificant issue or once you get married it will work itself out, but sex should be easiest in the first couple years of any relationship…
11 Signs Your Partner Might Have Mental Health Problems They’re Ignoring & How You Can Help
Bustle-July 18, 2017
While everyone’s entitled to the occasional bad mood, it’s never a good sign if your partner has been blowing up in fits of rage. “Anger is often referred to as ‘depression with enthusiasm,'” Caroline Madden, PhD, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Bustle. “A sign of depression is that everything and everyone easily annoys them (like traffic).” So if your partner is suddenly road raging, take note…
11 Little Things That Can Totally Transform Your Relationship
SheKnows.com-June 28, 2017
“If your spouse gets up before you because you work from home or have a short commute, make it a point at least once a week to …
THIS Is The Best Time To Move In With Your Partner, According To Couples Therapists
Women’s Health Magazine-June 19, 2017
“One of the biggest mistakes that couples make is to move in for financial reasons,” says Los Angeles-based marriage therapist Caroline Madden, Ph.D. Even if you have the deceptively practical “why pay two rents?” talk…
What Orange Is the New Black Gets Right About Grief
SheKnows.com-June 15, 2017
But Poussey’s murder transcends a fictional TV prison and has had an impact on viewers too. Caroline Madden, a therapist based in California, said the plotline at the end of Season 4 of OITNB has affected many of her patients — from the unexpected tragic death of Poussey to the reaction of Correctional Officer Bayley, who killed her.
If you’re sleeping with a married person, here’s how to end it
myjoyonline.com-May 25, 2017
“They may still call you and try to see you in person so they can convince you to stay,” she said. “Fight the urge to see them again. Think of all the times you tried to contact them in the past…
These Tips Will Keep Your Marriage Happy and Healthy
Brit.co-May 22, 2017
“Likewise, saying ‘Thanks for staining the deck’ is good, but saying ‘The deck looks fabulous. Thank you for working so hard in the sun all day’ is better.”
This is why we say “Til Death Do Us Part” In Wedding Vows
Redbook-April 25, 2017
“Each partner needs space to do their own thing. So while your spouse is out do not text or call him or her unless it is an emergency. You look needy and clingy and it makes your spouse feel pressured and resentful.” —Caroline Madden
What Mike Pence Gets Wrong (And Right) About Marriage, From An Infidelity Recovery Expert
Huffington Post-April 6, 2017
On the surface, Vice President Mike Pence’s “never dine alone with a woman” rule sounds like a good way to respect your spouse and avoid temptation. However, as an expert in helping marriages recover from infidelity, I think this type of thinking can lead to trouble…
7 Signs You’re Slipping Into An Emotional Affair
Huffington Post-March 6, 2017
“You literally count down the hours or days,” said Caroline Madden, a marriage therapist in Burbank, California. “When you text or Facebook [message] that person, you check a million times to see if they replied.”
The Resistance Is A Marathon, Not A Sprint
Huffington Post-February 21, 2017
For many of us, the reality that Trump is our president is a tough one to face. If you’re like me, you wake up each morning and have a brief moment of reprieve during which you think life is still normal. Then your coffee kicks in and you realize the truth: a racist, lying misogynist is leading our country.
30 Simple, Everyday Ways to Make Your Marriage Stronger
Redbook– February 2, 2017
“Connecting sexually will help you connect emotionally. If you don’t have a high libido you cannot expect your partner to just deal with it. Lack of affection makes your partner feel unloved and under-appreciated. Try getting help from a professional therapist. You will be surprised at how much progress can be made if you just open up to someone who is trained in this area.” —CarolineMadden, LMFT and author of How to Go From Roommates to Soulmates In 10 Easy Steps
How To Maximize Your Dating Profile So It’s Actually Effective
Romper.com-January 22, 2017
…women should shouldn’t look too frumpy or too sexy in the photos they post on their profile, as it is something that is a turnoff for men.
HOW TO REACT (STEP BY STEP) WHEN YOUR FRIEND VENTS ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND
Verily Magazine-January 19, 2017
Before you respond to your friend, remind yourself that her life is not your life. Caroline Madden, MFT, has authored five books specializing in relationships. She says, “Keep in mind that you are not the one in a relationship with him. What might be annoying or even a deal breaker for you…
Here’s the NO. 1 Question These Therapists Get Asked About Love
Verily Magazine-January 16, 2017
“‘When should I fight for a relationship (and how)?’ In the close to two decades I have been a relationship therapist, I have never once had someone regret that they fought too hard for love.” —Caroline Madden, MFT, author of five relationship books
25 Unbreakable Rules Everyone Should Follow In a Relationship
MSN-January 10, 2017
“Connecting sexually will help you connect emotionally. If you don’t have a high libido and this is causing problems in your marriage, get help from a professional therapist. You’ll be surprised at how much they can help you.”
13 Not-So-Obvious Signs of Cheating | Glamour
Glamour-December 30, 2016
Most of us tend to give our partners the benefit of the doubt as far as fidelity goes. But the truth is, one in four relationships involves cheating, while only half of cheaters confess—which means that about one-eighth of the people in relationships are involved with someone who secretly isn’t monogamous …
11 Qualities Every Truly Happy Relationship Has In Common
Huffington Post-December 23, 2016
Chemistry and physical attraction may have brought you and your partner together, but you need more than a spark to maintain a happy, lasting relationship. With that in mind, we asked marriage therapists to share the one quality they believe couples need to develop in order to stay together for the long haul. Here’s what they had to say …
11 Subtle Signs The Problems In Your Relationship Are Not Your Fault
Bustle-Dec 22, 2016
When your relationship isn’t going well, it’s often hard to convince yourself it’s not all your fault. After an argument, or a particularly tough week, emotions are generally running high. You might think about the things you said, or all the things you did “wrong,” and feel an intense amount of regret. This is a totally normal — albeit totally sucky — side effect of rocky relationships.
In fact, it sucks so much that it makes sense why we all want to know we aren’t to blame. If this is you right now, it really can be a huge comfort to hear the words “it’s not your fault.” …
11 Things You Should Stop Doing For Your Partner If You Want A …
Bustle-Dec 16, 2016
Most of us would do just about anything for our partner, all in the name of a happy, healthy relationship. But if you want things to truly go well, there’s actually a pretty hefty list of things you should stop doing for your partner. This, my friends, is all thanks to “good intentions” and how easily it is to go overboard with them …
Why Are We Fighting If We Both Voted For Hillary? – Role Reboot
RoleReboot- Nov 29, 2016
It’s Saturday morning, and you’ve just gotten the news that there’s a rally downtown. When you mention it to your partner, s/he snipes that you’ve got to take it down a notch. Turn it off for just a moment, please. Give it a rest..
Stung, you withdraw. Angry thoughts arise. “Doesn’t my partner see that we need to take action? We can’t let this happen! Fine, stick your head in the sand!” Anxiety swells in your chest as you consider the future …
6 modi per tradire il coniuge senza neanche rendersene conto
L’Huffington Post France-Nov 8, 2016
I tradimenti di natura sessuale saranno anche la più nota fra le diverse tipologie d’infedeltà, ma oggi come oggi il tradimento assume molte altre forme.
“Se la propria attenzione viene regolarmente calamitata al di fuori del proprio matrimonio, allora potrebbe essere l’indizio di un tradimento di natura non-tradizionale, come la cotta platonica”, spiega all’Huffington Post la psicoterapeuta Abby Rodman (abbyrodman.com/). “Le conseguenze di un tradimento non-tradizionale sono comunque le medesime: il coniuge viene ferito, deluso e marginalizzato”.
If You Want To Save Your Marriage After An Affair, Read This
Huffington Post-Nov 4, 2015
It’s not affairs that break up marriages: It’s the unfaithful spouse’s inability to be honest about what happened and leave the affair behind them, says Caroline Madden, a Burbank, California-based marriage therapist who specializes in affair recovery …
6 Ways You May Be Cheating On Your Spouse Without Even …
Huffington Post-Nov 2, 2016
Sexual affairs may be the most widely known type of infidelity, but these days, betrayal take many forms.
“The partner usually justifies the emotional affair because they see it as the lesser of two evils: They don’t have to leave their spouse or break up the family but in the meantime, they’re willing to supplement their marriage with another person.” ? Caroline Madden, a marriage therapist and the author of After A Good Man Cheats: How to Rebuild Trust & Intimacy with Your Wife” …
Why Do Good Men Cheat on Women- 3 Top Reasons
Mantranslated.com- October 23, 2016
You probably wouldn’t stay in a relationship where your basic needs were ignored. Men are the same; if our needs aren’t met, we too might look elsewhere. And sometimes we think cheating is a better option than breaking it off with you. I’m not justifying or defending this behaviour, I’m just telling it the way it is.
Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater? Marriage Therapists Weigh In
Huffington Post-Sep 27, 2016
Given how many of us are affected by infidelity ? twenty-one percent of married men and around 15 percent of married women have cheated on their spouses, according to the General Social Survey at the University of Chicago? it’s worth exploring our beliefs about cheaters and their capacity for change. Does “once a cheater, always a cheater” always ring true? …
How to Decide on a Sperm Donor – AfterEllen
AfterEllen.com-Feb 16, 2016
Caroline Madden is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has worked with many lesbian couples, as well as adults who were adopted as children, a demographic who often share similar concerns to children conceived via sperm donation. Her strong recommendation to perspective lesbian parents was to use a willing-to-be-known donor from a sperm bank, versus known donor, or an entirely anonymous donor.
Read more at http://www.afterellen.com/people/473875-decide-sperm-donor/2#lh8Ua3evufTwzkFd.99” …
8 segnali lampanti che indicano che la tua relazione non è destinata …
L’Huffington Post Italy-Jan 14, 2016
Ogni giorno i consulenti matrimoniali visitano coppie che desiderano rendere più forte la loro relazione, ma hanno anche a che fare con chi compie l’ultimo disperato tentativo di salvare un matrimonio.
Quali segnali li avvertono che una coppia non ha i requisiti giusti per farcela? Di seguito, analisti e psicologi spiegano quali sono i segnali d’allarme più evidenti …
8 Glaring Signs Your Relationship Isn’t Likely To Last
Huffington Post-Jan 11, 2016
Every day, marriage therapists talk to couples who want to work on making their relationships stronger — as well as those who check-in as a last ditch-effort to save their marriages.
What tips them off that a couple may not have what it takes to last? Below, therapists and psychologists share eight of the most glaring red flags …
8 consejos para salvar un matrimonio después de una infidelidad
Ecuavisa-Nov 12, 2015
Reparar una relación después de una infidelidad debe ser una de las cosas más difíciles de lograr, muchos matrimonios no salen de una situación así. Pero es posible. Así lo explica la doctora Caroline Madden, terapista matrimonial estadounidense, en un artículo publicado en Huffington Post. Aquí, sus mejores 8 consejos para superar una traición amorosa.
Decir la verdad: La mentira nunca es buena, mata el alma y la envenena. Si se quiere salir adelante después de algo así, lo mas importante es decir toda la verdad desde el principio. Para recuperar la confianza perdida, la verdad es indispensable.
10 Pieces Of Tough Love Advice From Marriage Therapists
Huffington Post-Aug 31, 2015
A marriage therapist’s job is to listen to couples’ frustrations and try to help each spouse work through his or her issues. Sometimes, that requires doling out some tough love, hard-to-hear advice.
Below, 10 marriage therapists share the most blunt — but constructive! — piece of advice they’ve ever given a couple during a session …
Relationship advice 8 ways to move on after discovering your …
Pulse Nigeria-Aug 27, 2015
It’s really hard to face the fact that your spouse cheated on you, especially if they decide to stay with the one they had an affair with.
In reality, it’s okay to feel all kinds of things initially but it should always be in moderation. The worst thing is letting your significant other’s infidelity define you.
Huffington Post experts on the subject of infidelity share their best advice for letting go and starting over after an affair …
Everything You Need To Know About Moving On After An Affair
Huffington Post-Aug 18, 2015
Moving on with your life after you’ve been cheated on can feel like an impossible task — especially if your S.O. decides to stay with his or her affair partner.
First, you need to give yourself permission to feel everything: bitterness, sorrow, confusion, rage (in moderation).
But at some point you need to move on and not let the affair define you. Below, experts on the subject of infidelity share their best advice for letting go and starting over after an affair.
Why Some People Take Back Cheaters, And Some People Don’t
Elite Daily (blog)-Jul 9, 2015
It’s hard to predict exactly what you might do if someone cheated on you. A 1999 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships revealed that 62 percent of the female participants and 86 percent of the male participants cheated more than once in their lives.
5 Signs your Secret Crush is Crushing Your Marriage – The Chic Site
The Chic Site-July 25, 2013
I’d like to introduce you to Jane. Jane is married to Jack. They’ve been happily married for 15 years. They have two children, two cars, the proverbial white picket fence.
One day, Jane meets a man at the office. He’s young, smooth, and extremely handsome. He asks for her help on a project. Naturally, Jane is eager. Not necessarily because she’s attracted to him (she is) but because she likes helping people. Soon one interaction, turns into two, which turns into three, and pretty soon, Jane finds herself anticipating when she’ll see him again. Jane has officially developed a secret crush.
