Typically relationship experts focus on how not to argue with your partner, not with them. Yet, being able to stick to the discussion, even when there is a disagreement or conflict, is important for maintaining communication. There are ways that you can stick to the argument without it blowing up out of control.

One Idea: Use Emotional Distancing

This is where you separate yourself from your emotions. The goal is to try to look at them more objectively. Emotional distancing allows you to separate some of the attachment you have to the argument so that your emotions don’t drive the discussion.

Suppression of Expressive Behavior is Another Tool

Wait! Aren’t therapists supposed to encourage us to do the exact opposite? Yes, but there are times when expressive behavior may not be the best idea. In fact, you do it all the time. The idea behind the suppression of expressive emotion is to avoid drama and over-the-top behaviors that only make things worse.

Mindfulness May Work Too

In recent years, mindfulness has gained popularity in therapeutic and relationship circles.  In mindfulness, we are taught to accept all kinds of emotions, even those that we feel are negative. Also, mindfulness teaches us not to hold onto those emotions but to let go of them. It can really help you stay present and calm, even in a heated discussion. Additionally, mindfulness empowers us to experience all aspects of life, not just what we think are positive or “good.”

Finally, You May Try Integrative Emotion Regulation

This is the opposite of emotional distancing. In this instance, you allow yourself to feel your emotions and refrain from passing judgment over them. This is something that takes practice but is definitely possible to achieve.

Want to learn more about how to argue with your partner productively? Read the full post here:  How to Stay on Task During Conflicts with Your Mate.