Identifying Unhealthy Dating Relationships

Often, when considering the health of a relationship, we often think of a long-term relationship. However, unhealthy relationships exist in the dating world too. Yet, it can be difficult for people who are dating to identify what is and what isn’t healthy.

First, let’s consider what is a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship will have the following qualities:

  • Partners experience an increased sense of purpose.
  • Less stress in both of their lives.
  • Greater chance of participating in healthy vs. unhealthy behaviors.
  • Longer life span

Unhealthy relationships have the opposite effect. These include a greater chance of using substances, participating in risky sexual behaviors, domestic violence, and eating disorders.  There is also an increased risk of suicide as well. Abuse can look like controlling behavior, jealousy, violent threats, bullying, and physically violent acts.

If you experience unhealthy dating relationships while in adolescence, that can set you up for many problems. These skewed perspectives for men about sex and relationships. For example:

  • Not understanding the true meaning of consent in a sexual relationship.
  • 51% U.S. college-age men have reported committing a sexual assault while in school.
  • 60% of Canadian college-age men report being willing to commit sexual assault if they knew that they would not be caught.

The result is that women experience high rates of assault. This brings with it a host of psychological and emotional problems. In fact, it is estimated that 51% of Canadian women will experience at least one act of physical or sexual violence over the course of their lives.

In order to recognize a potentially abusive relationship, consider these four factors from Dr. John Gottman. They include:

  • Criticism
  • Contempt
  • Defensiveness
  • Stonewalling

If you are concerned that you are in an unhealthy dating relationship, get help. There are resources in your community and online that can help. Want to learn more about identifying unhealthy dating relationships? You can read the full post here:  Is It Unhealthy?

 

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