Too much of any of these behaviors, from either partner, can have both of you running for the nearest exit. If, on the other hand, you were to follow what Dr. Daniel Siegel author of Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation calls the “COAL” Attitude: Curious, Open, Accepting, and Loving, you might find solutions you hadn’t seen before. Taking the COAL point of view, and accepting the fact that everyone–including yourself–is human, you can ask yourself these two questions:
Posts Tagged: divorce news
The 9 Most Overlooked Threats to a Marriage
1. We marry people because we like who they are. Plan for your spouse to change. Don’t marry who they are now or your vision of them. Get behind, and enjoy the journey of them becoming their ideal self.
2. Marriage doesn’t take away our loneliness. Loneliness is part of the human condition. Marriage can’t undo that. Don’t blame your partner or go looking for someone new. “Marriage is intended to be a place where two humans share the experience of loneliness.” Let it be until the loneliness dissipates.
The Low-down on Cheating in a Relationship
For all of you champions of true love, things aren’t as bad as they appear. While pop culture seems to tout the benefits of being a shameless player and heartbreaker, real folks seem to disagree. After cheating, most people regretted it, with 89 percent of cheating survey respondents wishing they’d never done it, and saying they won’t go there again. At the heart of it all, everybody seemed to want to love one person well—and to be loved well by someone special too. The survey revealed that 79 percent of participants are all for monogamy, with 77 percent frowning on uncommitted relationships. Despite it all, most of us are still hoping for the real deal: true love.
Marriage Counseling: Identify and Change Weakening Relationship Patterns
The hard work of marriage often needs the combined effort of a committed couple, and their hardworking therapist. Couples counseling can be a welcome support and buffer when things get shaky and unsure, reinforcing the good portions of your marriage, and helping you strengthen weak areas.
