Technoference may not be a word you’re familiar with, but you’ve probably figured out what it means. There’s no doubt you’ll be hearing of it more and more.
In an age when everyone is connected to everyone else 24/7, there is the expectation that you have to be available 24/7 and, if you’re not, there are repercussions. This is not a healthy way to live – especially for couples.
A survey conducted by Cecile Andres, a leader in the Voluntary Simplicity movement, showed that North American couples spend twelve minutes a day talking to each other. A relationship is a living thing that needs attention; twelve minutes is starvation rations. This is becoming a problem that, unfortunately, most couples don’t notice until it’s too late.
Another survey showed that 20% of people admitted to using their smartphone while having sex. More couples are finding that they are let down and hurt when they expect to get one-on-one time, such as at dinner, and their partner pulls out their tech device. It is not just women complaining; men are having the same problems.
So what can be done? The psychological community is looking into why this happens, how to prevent it, and how to reverse the problem once it’s begun. There are steps you can take:
Schedule tech-free time together.
Make a “no tech at the table” rule.
Plan a weekend away without tech devices.
Participate in recurring events such as hiking or bike riding without your phone.
The important thing is that you unplug and tune in to the people and things in your life that do not require a plug. Take the time to fall in love with your partner, and reconnect in ways that show your partner and others that they matter more to you than your tech device.