Obsessing Over Your Relationship May Be Bad For Your Sex Life

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mt19Do you suspect that you, or someone you know, is obsessed with their relationship? Are they constantly talking about it, questioning it, or reassessing it?

A good sex life generally will not stand up to that kind of strain; and no wonder. This tendency, referred to as ROCD, or relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder, saps the enjoyment and satisfaction from most couples’ connections.

Predictably, couples are less happy together when the relationship is constantly being second-guessed and undermined. Doubt and discontent breed unhappiness. Unhappiness breeds resentment, and a reduced desire for sexual contact and intimacy.

The online publication of the Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed these findings, and shared that treatment needs to reflect more attention paid to ROCD.

What does ROCD look like?

OCD, or obsessive compulsive disorder, encourages and exacerbates unwanted concerns. This obsession at work, and repetitive behavior to resolve those worries, is the interfering compulsion, which usually does little to quell the unwanted obsession.

ROCD sufferers usually obsess in the following ways:

  • Questioning whether they love their partners: Do they really love this person? Is there someone “better” out there? Is it possible to be happy with one person?
  • Questioning whether their partner loves them.  Can their partner be trusted? Is their partner cheating? Should they follow, call, or email their partner to ensure their partner’s love?

There is often a lot of breaking up and making up in these relationships. It can be exhausting and eventually, many ROCD sufferers lose the relationship.

How Should OCD be Treated? 

Treatment should generally not include couples counseling. This simply serves to further support the need to focus on the relationship–a problem already intrinsic to the ROCD. Instead, focus should be on treating the OCD, and leaving the relationship alone for a while. According to an experienced OCD therapist, Steven Brodsky, the aim is “to help the person develop a greater tolerance for ambiguity or bothersome thoughts.”

Read the entire article here: Obsessing Over Your Relationship May Be Bad For Your Sex Life

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