How can you tell the difference between temporary trouble and a chronically unhealthy relationship?
To start, it’s important that you gain some perspective. It’s helpful to see a counselor for an objective, unbiased point of view. However, you can also take time to reflect and contemplate the following points as well.
1. Your Unhappy Times Outweigh Happy Times
You should be happy more often than you are unhappy. According to, relationship expert Dr. John Gottman a good rule of thumb is to ensure that there are five positive interactions for every negative interaction.
If the negativity in your connection greatly outweighs the positive, your relationship may be toxic.
2. Your Unhappy Relationship Colors Your Entire Life
Toxic relationships can impact your career, physical state, and/or mental health. Distraction and depression are signs that relationship toxicity is spilling over. Over time, this can start to affect how you see yourself.
An inability to meet your own needs as a result of the relationship is problematic.
3. Criticism is Constant
If you are constantly finding fault with each other, the relationship will not be safe or constructive for either of you. Routine criticism quickly creates a toxic environment of defensiveness and blame.
4. Contempt Creeps In
Contempt is a troublesome sign that inequality and superiority feed disrespect in your relationship. In fact, contempt tends to fuel resentment and negativity with personal attacks and sarcasm.
The toxicity can lead to the feeling that you are unlovable or deserving of emotional abuse.
5. Fights are Frequent & Unfair
If your relationship is a series of constant, unresolved arguments, something is wrong. If fights escalate often and your partner has little regard for restoring connection, you are likely in a toxic situation.
6. There are No Acknowledgments or Apologies
Taking responsibility for mistakes is a big part of healthy relationships. To move through pain and mistakes, apologies must be offered and received openly. Shutting each other down, blaming continually, and refusing attempts to repair the relationship leave the relationship no place to go.
Want to know more about toxic relationships? Please read more here: How to Tell If You Are in a Toxic Relationship
