You’re hearing a lot about your physical health and safety right now. All that is well and good, but as a therapist, I think your mental health is just as important during these trying times. Week one or even two of the lock down most people are going to be fine. The tips I am giving you, should start now as a proactive measure. Depression is insidious. It is the Grim Reaper that slowly works his way into your life.
Remember, Jack from The Shining didn’t start out with the axe. Take steps today to preserve your mental health for the future you.
Your Morning Routine
Set your alarm to wake you up at the same time every morning. Have breakfast, shower, and get that cup of coffee. Get out of your PJs and put on real clothes (translation: not sweat pants). If you usually wear makeup and or shave, do that. Why? You need to look in the mirror and recognize yourself. Covid-19 has already stolen your freedom; don’t let it steal your dignity, too.
Your Daily Routine
Create blocks of time for yourself: Work, exercise, cleaning, and a healthy meal plan. Some tips for making this work for you:
Work when you are supposed to work
If you are able to work from home, carve out times to work and then actually do it. It can be challenging to get work done with kids home and the talking heads on the news channels screaming panic every minute of the day. Silence your phone, only check email at scheduled times, and refrain from watching the news or surfing the web except for designated times.
Move your body every day, and if you can, do it outside.
Exercise is good for you for a variety of reasons. It’s an effective stress reliever, and fond as we all may be of a glass of wine, exercise is one of the best natural ways to manage anxiety and depression.
There is a reason people get Seasonal Affective Disorder during winter and become depressed: they are shut inside all day without sunlight.
Get vitamin D by walking outside or exercising in your backyard or out on your balcony. Play tag outside with your kids. Take a tour of your neighborhood. Engage in Mindfulness Walking. Look at your neighborhood with fresh eyes. What are things that you haven’t noticed before because you are always in a rush or in your car? Some neighborhoods have coordinated so kids can “go a bear hunt.” People are putting stuffed bears in the window so when families walk by, they can spot the bear.
Set alarms on your phone and do a set of push ups or squats each time they go off.
Looking for a gentler form of exercise? Many of my clients are enjoying online guided yoga and meditation classes. Classes that have been recommended to me: ObeFitness, Yoga With Andriene, CosmicKids Yoga.
Take care of your environment.
Make cleaning a priority. You are going to be in your place a lot, and clutter is a common anxiety trigger. Even if you aren’t someone who normally does your dishes every night, now is a good time to start. Get into a routine of tidying up in spurts; it breaks up the day. Also, it prevents the clutter from becoming overwhelming. If you do a little at a time, it is manageable. Thinking you are going to do one big cleaning may overwhelm you.
Extrapolate this out as time goes by. Maybe it’s time to declutter your office, or finally frame and hang those pictures that make you smile. Take this opportunity to improve your physical space and you’ll find your mental space also clears.
Ask yourself: What is on your list of things you’ve wanted to do but never had the time? Fix the squeaky door, shred old credit card bills, organize the pantry closet. Knocking out projects that improve your living space can be very satisfying.
Plan delicious meals, and then enjoy cooking them.
Not everyone likes to cook, but if there was ever a time to pick up this valuable skill, it’s now. Look for recipes that fit your budget, time constraints, skill level, and readily available ingredients. Then have fun!
Your Evening Routine
Since your typical routine has been disrupted, you need to establish a way to distinguish your evenings from your daytime activities. This is significant for many reasons, one of which is it’s important that your body and psyche recognizes that it’s time to relax and let go of the stress of the work day. This is what helps us get in the right frame of mind to sleep well at night.
For starters, see if your phone has a nighttime setting. The blinking blue of the screen activates your mind, making it think it is day. This makes it hard to wind down an anxious mind. The nighttime setting emits a warming light that does not make your brain think it’s still daytime.
Next, fill your evenings with creative, entertaining, social or self-care activities. This signals you are done with work. The following are suggestions for relaxing evenings:
Set your inner artist free to create.
Now’s a perfect time to rediscover your creative side. Color, draw, paint, knit, sculpt, write, sing… whatever it is that floats your boat, now’s the time to do it. Trust me, playing around with that old guitar that’s been gathering dust in your closet will do a lot more for your soul than binging Netflix.
Curl up with a blanket or loved one and watch a show or read a book.
Aim for entertainment. Tempting as it is to watch hours of news, it’s really not going to help you relax and sleep.
Socialize safely.
We are not meant to be alone for long periods of time, and even the most introverted of us needs both a sense of community and connection with others.
Make plans to connect with those that matter. Schedule a wine Facetime happy hour with friends. Play a game while video-chatting. Call that friend you’ve lost touch with. Holler to your neighbor across the street as you get the mail, and ask how they are doing. Tell them you’re thinking of them. Better yet, make plans with them for after this is all over. It’ll give you all something to look forward to.
Perform self care.
Take a bath. Light candles. Do some deep stretches. Roll out sore muscles. Do your nails. Write in a journal. If you drink, have a cocktail once in a while. If you’ve got a partner, take turns giving and receiving back rubs. It doesn’t really matter what you do, but it is important that you do something that signals that the day is done and you are taking care of yourself.
· A word about drinking. Anyone who knows me or follows me on twitter knows I am a mom of two who loves her glass of red wine at night. However, watching your alcohol consumption is important. Alcohol messes with sleep, and it is a depressant. The more you use it, the more anxious and depressed you can become. Also, we all need to do our best to keep our immune systems strong at this time. So… indulge from time to time, but limit your consumption.
· For those who are sober. You can’t go to your regular meeting but can you still video conference with your friends, or you can attend AA meetings online.
Turn out the lights on schedule.
It can be tempting to act like you’re on vacation, but even vacation gets old after a while. Keep your schedule by going to bed at the same time each night. Your body (and mental health) will thank you later.
Basic Overall Sanity-Savers
As I’m talking with clients, I’m noticing a few things that seem to be universal. For example, everyone seems to be forgetting what day of the week it is. I suggest using construction paper or different colored markers to post what day of the week it is in a prominent place in your home. This is a way of anchoring yourself, of providing milestones so you don’t feel cuckoo.
Here are a few other tips that will help you keep cray at bay:
Resist things that trigger your anxiety, putting you into fight-or-flight mode.
None of us are not built to thrive when constantly stressed. Our bodies and minds need a break from worries in order to regenerate and recuperate. We are designed to handle a short-but-intense stressor — like a tiger chasing us for a few minutes — followed by downtime complete with rest and recovery. When we are in constant fight-or-flight mode, our bodies and mental health both deteriorate.
For this reason, I suggest you resist checking in on social media to look at the death toll. It simply isn’t helpful. Using the internet to see about ways to keep safe or fun things to do is okay, but I highly recommend limiting yourself on watching news coverage or reading endless social media posts about the coronavirus.
At the same time, you need to stay informed.
I get it. It would be foolish to stop watching the news altogether. Conditions are continuously changing right now, including safety protocols and what we know about Covid-19.
This is how I’m handling this dilemma: I stay off media for the bulk of the day, and I’m recommending my clients do the same. Devote a set amount of time to reading the news and interacting on social media each day.
When you visit Twitter or Facebook or whatever, keep it short. We’re talking 10, 15 minutes two to three times a day, that’s it. Set a timer. Studies show that the more time spent on social media, the more likely it is that you will experience distress and even depression. You need to preserve your emotional strength right now, so limit this stressor.
Staying Sane One Day at a Time
I hope these tips and tricks help you navigate this challenging time. I say that sincerely. I know this is difficult. I’m in the trenches with you.
Bottom line: you need to stay sane.
I’m here to help you protect your sanity. Cultivate contentment. Experience Zen-ness that even a Buddhist monk would envy. Okay, these tips won’t get you that far, but they will help you survive a Covid-19 quarantine, shelter-in-place or lockdown with your sanity intact.
P.S. I’m writing companion articles to this one and will link to them when done.
· Being single during a Covid-19 lockdown
· Getting along with your partner during the lockdown
· Parenting children (and learning how to both work and homeschool your kids) while we get through this crazy time
Check them out, and let me know in the comments what you’re doing to stay sane despite Covid-19 lockdowns.
