Generally, he advises partners to focus on each doing their own work. Trying to change their relationships will only happen by adjusting their individual thoughts, assumptions, and values to care for each other.
Relationships heal when partners choose to think about their partners differently.
Dr. Stosny breaks this idea down into several key relationship-saving strategies.
First, he notes that it’s important to interpret your partner’s intentions benignly and realistically. Why? If we assume the worst about our partners, we react in kind. Unless your partner is abusive, trying to think about your partner’s intentions with an open mind, will initiate more open and productive interactions. Also, Stosny finds that getting bogged down in resentment leads to negativity and character projections ( “you’re lazy”, “you’re a nag)” that leads to character attacks and dissatisfaction. Assume the best.
Interrupting the thought patterns, with positive thoughts and character projections creates more positivity in the relationship. Acceptance and appreciation, too, lessen the negative perceptions fueled by intolerance. He suggests that less focus on “getting needs met” and more energy spent living according to core values supports inner contentment. Your inner satisfaction will breed relationship satisfaction as well.
Relationships heal when partners choose to act differently toward their partners too.
Dr. Stosny addresses this concept in the following important ways.“Happy love” comes stems from kindness and compassion. Overcome resentful ugly behavior with loving, open behavior. Additionally, Stosny insists that the “principle of emotional reciprocity” is vital. Become the person you’d want to be with Why? You’re simply more likely to get the love you give. When you are intentional, kind, and show affection in small, routine ways your love connection grows bigger.
Finally, Dr. Stosny concludes how it is to actively and mindfully commit to replacing poor relationship habits. He believes that “Instead of blame, denial, and avoidance, choose to improve, appreciate, connect, and protect.” Want to know more about healing relationships? Please read more here: 8 Relationship Secrets
