At one point, everything felt like bliss. You couldn’t help but feel as if everything was perfect and idyllic. 

Except looking back, does it seem as if you purposefully ignored red flags? Or you didn’t know that something wasn’t normal in a relationship? Relationships are normally not perfect. So the measure here isn’t that everything was always perfect. They take work, commitment, and sacrifice from both people to make it work.

Maybe there are red flags you look out for in a relationship after a particularly bad one. Or maybe there is something going on right now that is making you question some things about it. When it comes to narcissistic abuse in a relationship, you may question if you are in one or not. Let’s go over what narcissistic abuse is and then some signs to look out for.

What Exactly Is Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissism is when someone believes that the world revolves around them. They have a tendency to make things all about them.

When narcissistic abuse is occurring, they are using manipulative tactics in order to sway things in their favor. This abuse can include verbal or emotional abuse, sometimes both.

Signs To Look Out For In A Narcissistic Relationship

There is a number of red flags that may come up when a relationship isn’t quite what it seems. But knowing some main signs of a narcissistic relationship can help you determine if you are actually in one. 

Controlling

Is the person you are with a total control freak? Does it seem as if they are very demanding of your attention, leaving little room for anyone or anything else?

A narcissist will try to control every little thing, including their partner. It will start off in small subtle ways but then will turn into more boundary-pushing.

Gaslighting

A narcissist will try to manipulate their partner by gaslighting them. This is when the abuser will make the other person question their own memories, thoughts, or knowledge. It makes the victim of abuse feel as if they can’t rely on anyone else, not even themself. Except for their significant other. It’s another way of controlling someone.

Social Isolation

Over time, has it seemed as if you have lost a lot of friends since you began dating your partner? Do they ever try to convince you that so and so isn’t a good person? Does your partner try to fill all of your hours with only them and them alone? Not other people like family or friends?

This is another tell-tale sign that you are dating a narcissist. They will do anything in their power to make sure that your world only revolves around them.

Boundaries Are Not A Thing With Them

All relationships need boundaries. It’s what ensures your dependence on one another and the ability to still be your own people outside of your relationship.

In a narcissistic abusive relationship, boundaries are virtually not existent. They may try to decide what you wear by saying things like, “I don’t like when you wear that in public, only wear it around here.” or, “You shouldn’t wear that because you don’t look good in it.”

They will also have no sense of privacy and may regularly go through your phone to see what you are doing or who you are talking. Even looking at your search history, 

What To Do Next

If you feel as if you are recognizing some of the signs above in your own relationship, you may question what to do next. The last thing you should have to do is have your world flipped upside down by seeing red flags – and not having support.

Reach out to me for relationship or individual counseling so I can help you find ways to set healthy boundaries and find a way to move forward.