There is no denying that sex plays an important role in relationships. It definitely isn’t the only thing that matters. But, having sexual intimacy in a relationship, for many couples, is a strong indicator of the bond. But what happens when a marriage is sexless?
There is no rule for how many times a couple should be intimate. Some couples feel they need to have sex a few times a week. Others are okay with it only happening once or twice a month. Every couple will feel differently about this and no matter what, that’s okay.
When you aren’t being sexually intimate with one another at all, it can be a very challenging situation to navigate. While it may feel as if repairing a sexless marriage is impossible, that isn’t the case at all. Here’s how you can begin to take steps to repair a sexless marriage.
Talk About It
We don’t want to talk about things that are uncomfortable. Many people, no matter how long they have been together, struggle with this. Especially when it comes to sexual intimacy. But if you ignore things that are bothering you, it doesn’t actually make them go away.
In fact, it can make them even worse. Start the conversation with your partner. They may be feeling the same frustration as you over not having sex more. Or, they may not even realize it’s a problem. That can happen for many reasons. They could be just really distracted and stressed over work. Or they are going through a period of just not feeling like themselves. Whatever the reasoning may be, you won’t be able to begin to repair things if you aren’t addressing them.
Never Place Blame On One Another
Like many other things, you should never blame each other for your problems. It’s common when we are upset about something to blame our partner. Or we blame ourselves.
Maybe you have a sneaking suspicion on why you aren’t having sex. You may think that it is something that they have going on in their personal lives. Or you feel like they just aren’t interested in you. Instead of accusing them, bring this up in a gentle way when you start the conversation. “I feel like we aren’t having sex because you aren’t interested in me that way anymore.” Instead of “We aren’t having sex anymore because you aren’t interested in me now.” Do you see the difference?
There are More Ways To Be Intimate With One Another
Most people hear the word intimacy and immediately relate it to sex. However, there are far more ways to be intimate with one another than in the bedroom.
Sometimes, the disconnect starts to happen when you are no longer emotionally connected to one another. Life gets in the way sometimes and you lose that spark and connection. But it doesn’t need to stay that way. Reconnect with your partner by just talking. Spending quality time with one another where you are just focused on each other’s emotional well-being can be a great way to bond.
Try to be physical with one another without it needing to lead to sex. Hold hands while you are on the couch watching tv. Give each other a massage when you know one of you has had a long day. Physical touch doesn’t always need to lead to the bedroom and can be a simple way to bond.
If you try any of the above and it still doesn’t help you repair things, you may feel like just giving up. However, by reaching out to me for help, I can help you try to figure out why things went south. But, I can also help you repair them. Let’s connect soon for marriage counseling.
