It’s no surprise to hear, but most couples will end up fighting about finances at some point. Money is typically the number one source of stress that can lead to arguments and tension within a relationship.

But did you know that financial infidelity is a thing? Infidelity, of course, is when a partner strays outside of the relationship and cheats. So, what exactly is financial infidelity? Let’s explore this topic.

What Is Financial Infidelity? 

First, just because someone is irresponsible with money does not mean they are committing financial infidelity. 

Instead, financial infidelity is when someone is purposefully being deceptive with finances. This can range from having a secret credit card, bank account, or not being honest about spending habits.

Here are three things you should know about how someone could be financially unfaithful.

1. Secret Accounts Or Cards

It’s just as common to have joint bank accounts as it is to have separate ones. It’s all about what will work best for you as a couple. However, having separate accounts isn’t an issue until it’s secretive. One of the most common ways someone can be unfaithful regarding their finances is by opening up a secret bank account or credit account.

Both of these things can be a sign of larger problems within the relationship. If there is a bank account that’s secret, it could point to a sign of distrust in the relationship about money. Or if it is a credit card, it may point to a sign of spending habits that someone does not want to share.

2. Using Shared Money To Make Purchases And Hiding It

When you share a bank account with your partner, you definitely need to be honest about where your money is going and what is coming in.

However, some people may use these shared funds for things other than the agreed upon spending. And then keeping it a secret from their partner

3. Hiding Income

There are plenty of people out there who do freelance or contractor work as full time or part-time work. As a way to make extra money, sometimes an unexpected payment for a job can be hidden from a partner.

This is another form of financial infidelity. It is deceptive to hide any extra income that can come in, especially when you are sharing bank accounts.

How To Move Past Financial Infidelity

Infidelity, of any kind, is challenging to move past, but it can be done. While you may struggle with some aspect of financial infidelity, it does not mean that you have to continue down this path.

Start The Conversation

It’s time to get things out in the open. This is the first foundational base to begin repairing your relationship from financial infidelity. Healing from something requires being honest and acknowledging it. It may be hard to admit when this has happened, but chances are, the truth will come out eventually anyways.

Find Solutions Together

Once everything is out in the open, it is time to begin moving forward. While the past can’t be changed when financial infidelity occurs, it doesn’t have to affect the future.

Work on creating a budget together and setting goals with where your money should go. Working together can help you get on the same page and correct the mistakes of the past. 

Counseling For Financial Infidelity Is Effective

Often times, financial infidelity occurs because of larger issues going on in the relationship. Sometimes, it is hard to see the bigger picture of what is going on when it is just you two working it out.

Couples counseling can help you repair your relationship and recover from financial infidelity. Reach out to me to get started.