COUPLES COUNSELING IN BURBANK

Improve communication & restore intimacy.

waiting room of couples counselor Caroline Madden

You love each other, but things feel hard right now.

 

Does this sound like you?:

  • You miss the days that you could just talk to each other, without fighting.

  • The sizzle has turned to fizzle.  The difference in your sex drives is creating conflict.

  • You both wish you get back some of the friendship and intimacy you had B.C.  (before children)

  • You're sick of sitting next to each other on the couch, both on your phones, feeling like you're just roommates.

  • An affair has been discovered and you don’t know what to do next.

how i can help

Change your process, not your partner.

Both of you brought baggage into the relationship—whether from previous relationships or from your upbringing. Often, people don't realize how their words, tone of voice, jokes, and actions affect their partner. You each have different triggers and sensitivities. I can help identify these dynamics and work with you to create a practical action plan.

I don't encourage couples to rehash old fights and argue in my office. Instead, I want you to evaluate your relationship, develop creative solutions to ongoing problems, and regain empathy for each other. I can help you return to being the loving couple you once were.

imagine if you…

Understood and addressed the root causes of your conflicts.

Instead of rehashing the same arguments, we will pinpoint the core dynamics behind your recurring problems.

Could stop falling into old patterns and create positive, lasting changes.

By learning new skills and strategies, you can build a stronger, more resilient relationship

Felt connected and enjoyed a renewed sense of partnership and intimacy

By addressing past hurts and fostering forgiveness, you can move forward with a stronger foundation for lasting intimacy.

I wholeheartedly believe:

Change is possible.

Let’s work together to identify the problems and move forward with solutions.

faqs

Common Questions About Couples Counseling with Me

  • I am a pro-marriage therapist, supportive of both straight and gay marriages. What does that mean? It means that I actively work to help you improve your marriage and will offer hope that you can resolve your marital issues. I am not neutral; I want you to work through your problems, avoid divorce. and thrive in your marriage!

    While I don't believe every marriage can or should be saved, I do believe that no matter the outcome, it's important for both partners to know that they fought for their marriage. This may sound simple, but you'd be surprised how many marriage therapists overlook this. Be sure to ask any potential couples counselor their stance on this issue.

    On a personal note, as the mother of two teenage sons, I know firsthand how life-altering becoming a parent can be and how it can stress even the best of marriages. I believe that even the strongest relationships require effort and work.

  • No. I see all couples. You are welcome whether you are married, partnered, living together, separated, divorced or single; and you are welcome whatever your sexual identity or identity.

  • This is a very common question.  It depends on your situation.  Give me a call and we can discuss what would be best for you and your relationship.

  • Maybe, maybe not.  If you expect to come to counseling and have me tell your partner that she or he is wrong and that you are right, then no, counseling isn’t going to help.  Isn’t this what you’ve already been doing, waiting for your partner to change?  The truth is, you can only change yourself and your reactions.  If you both are willing to take a hard look at your part in the dynamic, and work to change it, then amazing things can happen. There'll always be time to divorce, but there may not always be time to save your marriage.

  • Are you ready? Yes, it takes two to tango but often it only takes one person to change the dynamics of a relationship. You make up half of the relationship. If you improve your own self-awareness and thereby react in different ways to your partner, she or he will react in different ways.  I’ve seen this work even in the most stubborn and serious cases of relationship conflict.

  • In our initial session, I will help you assess whether couples counseling would be beneficial for you. While every couple is unique, many tend to fall into common relationship patterns. The goal of this assessment is to identify any negative patterns and suggest a plan of action to change them.

    I will listen to each of you, not to judge who is right or wrong, but to help uncover the dynamics that are affecting you as a couple. Understanding these dynamics is key to making meaningful progress in your relationship.

    At the end of the session, we will discuss some of these dynamics and how (and if) I believe you can benefit from couples counseling. I will suggest a plan of action and provide a rough estimate of the number of sessions needed and what we will focus on during those sessions.

    Commitment to Counseling:

    It's important that both of you are committed to couples counseling. Instead of automatically booking a follow-up session, I’ll ask you to go home and discuss what we covered in our meeting to decide if you want to continue. If you do, please call me to schedule the next session. No pressure.

    Our Process:

    We’ll start with an initial intake session together. After that, I will have individual sessions with each of you and ask you to complete a brief, private relationship status questionnaire. Using this information and your input, I will create a specific treatment plan tailored to help you reach your goals.

    My Approach:

    My approach to couples counseling is focused and goal-oriented, rather than lengthy and open-ended—unless we are addressing significant issues like infidelity. As your couples counselor, my role is to assess the dynamics at play, develop a plan to move you forward, and then gradually step back. The aim is to leave you feeling confident and equipped to use the tools you’ve learned to maintain and strengthen your relationship on your own.

  • Yes I do!

    As a gay-affirmative therapist with extensive training in queer relationships, I'm dedicated to helping LGBTQ+ couples navigate their unique challenges.

    Unique Challenges for LGBTQ+ Couples

    LGBTQ+ couples face additional pressures beyond those of straight couples, including social hostility and prejudice. Straight-passing couples may struggle with invisibility and identity invalidation, impacting their well-being and relationships.

    Personal Issues and Family Dynamics

    Family of origin (the family you grew up in) acceptance and social expectations add another layer of stress. Different levels of acceptance from family members can strain relationships, especially during key life events. A skilled therapist can help set boundaries, develop coping strategies, and maintain a united front.

    LGBTQ+ couples often deal with complex personal issues like how to become a family and internal pressures related to gender and sexual identity. These unique dynamics require a therapist who truly understands and can provide tailored support.

    Internalized Homophobia

    Internalized homophobia can erode mental health and emotional intimacy. My office is a safe space to process these feelings, heal, and build resilience.

    Whether you're dealing with coming out, forming friendships, depression, anxiety, or relationship issues, I'm here to help. As a proud member of the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association since 2013, I bring extensive training in gay and lesbian counseling to support and guide you with empathy and expertise.

  • I understand that not all relationships can be saved, and I don't believe in staying in a miserable relationship just for the sake of the children.

    However, I do believe that children develop best in an intact household. Once you become a parent, it's not just about you and your happiness anymore. Your decision to separate will profoundly affect your children and their children, so it’s not a decision to be taken lightly.

    Couples counseling can help you determine if your relationship is truly beyond saving. The stresses of everyday life, especially with children, can often cloud your judgment. You owe it to yourself and your children to try to salvage this relationship.

    If you decide to separate after working with me, you will be able to look your kids in the eye and honestly say that you did your best to see if it could be worked out. I

    If you share this belief, I am the right counselor for you.

Ready to get started?

Your relationship is worth it.

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